Wednesday, December 21, 2011

pickup realities

While reading a nice pdf about why the pickup industry (link here) as a whole is mostly about being a business and making money and less about simply helping people, I was struck by a sentence from the author that stated that game is all nice and fun, but in the end, women simply choose who they like and that game itself has little say in that. It simply increases your chances by teaching you to stop doing stupid things whilst qualifying for that selection process.

There is no way to describe the relief that simple sentence gave me. Instead of being responsible for the outcome of flirting and seducing, I suddenly became one of the two parties involved, as opposed to being the one that has to lead, control and keep on reframing the interaction to move it in the direction you want to move it.

All the girls that I have been with, I’ve ended up with because we got into flow. Things were fun, we got together and we clicked. And instead of living in a world where that click has to be carefully pushed and steered, turning every interaction with a woman into one where I have to actively try to see and control the situation, myself and her, I can just enjoy myself and see what that brings.

So what if I don’t get laid as often as PUA’s. I’m in this for the long run, finding a partner is my goal, which requires me to find someone I can be honest with. That does not mean that I can’t use parts of game, but I will use it to make my partner happy, not to push her to sleep with me. The brand of game that Athol Kay is preaching, with a good measure of ’inner’ (Self-improvement and just being proud and happy with yourself) and ’natural’ (I’ve attracted several women in my life. No games, no thinking, just letting it happen and enjoying eachother’s company) game involved. But that is mostly for my own development and peace of mind, not my future partners.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The neg

A Neg is a technique that pick-up artists use to get attention (attraction) from pretty women. Those women generally get all kinds of positive attention from men hoping to 'buy' their attraction with compliments.

To be different, they sort-of-insult the woman, to appear independent and strong and to break down her initial assumption that he is just another guy who will be like the rest.

In short, you playfully point out that she is not perfect and that you see that. A few examples would be along the lines of:

+ "You have a very pretty face, but you should use less makeup. Makeup should be used to enhance a woman’s beauty, not hide it." or You're a really pretty girl, but what else have you got besides that?

There is all kind of theorycrafting on why this works (And why it apparently only works on really pretty women or women who think they are but aren't that pretty.)

But I keep wondering if the whole point of this isn't just to shake someone out of social roles. That for some reason, showing that you can see past the mask and that you accept it, you allow the other to remove it and become more genuine with you.

It would be funny if a bunch of guys wearing silly hats and boas, who insult women to seduce them and to sleep with them, are somehow making the world a more honest place.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Just do it

It's very easy to procrastinate or to get stuck in a lifestyle where you never really get anything done. It's there, it's easy, but you just never quite get to doing all those things that you kind of want or need to get done.

"Just start." Was the advice someone gave me. And it is the best advice possible, but also the least useful. It sort of falls on the same line as telling a smoker that would like to quit that he just has to "stop smoking."

It really IS as simple as that, but if the person was able to take such action, he would have done so himself ages ago.

Procrastination is also my cardinal sin, with lots of little chores and things that I kind of wanted to do that did not get done. Untill I got a new job. Suddenly, I'd leave home at 6:30 sharp and come home 12 hours later, at 18:30.

Suddenly, things that need to be done get done. There is no "Meh, later" because there will be no time later either. I have to admit I like the regularity. Though I dislike not being able to participate in fun stuff each evening.
But with time being short, it became valuable. And with it being valuable, I'm not going to waste it anymore.

Monday, November 28, 2011


Suddenly I understand why people in high-paced / high attention-span jobs drink so much coffee and tea. You get SO MUCH more done by just being high on caffein.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Management mistake #1

As a manager, you have little time to deal with the little details. You want to have all the information to effectively fix problems and nothing more, because if you're in a company employs 100 or more people, you simply haven no time to deal with the little stuff.

So we delegate and get flows of information back on how things are going. In general, things in the mind of a manager seem to have two possible categories:
- Working as it should. Don't fix it.
- Not working as it should. Do something about it.

There just isn't enough time to focus on everything. So a manager needs to be good at quickly determining where to apply himself and where not.
But there is a critical error that can be made here. Sometimes, working as should is not what you want.

A good manager, in my opinion, should be aware that there is a third category:
- Working for now. Need a better solution soon.
And this happens a LOT in IT business. The distance between the manager and the solutions implemented is so large that the manager never get to actually see the actual cost of the solution that is implemented. And then, the 'pain' of each incomplete implementation is carried by the IT department. They'll spend more and more time paying for those quick fixes than a good fix would have cost them.

So management solution #1 is :
Make sure that things that are fixed ( The problem has gone away) are really fixed and not just a quick fix. Your time is too valuable to keep adressing different quick fixes for the same old problem

Management mismatch

For some reason I keep running into the same problems in my line of work. This bothers me. This is starting to bother me more and more.

Whenever I bring up problems that I see at a company, the coworkers that have been there for years grin, shake their heads and tell me that somethings never change. They too saw the problem, so I feel validated in my view of the problem. And this problem always comes down to either mismanagement or company policy that is mismatched with the wish to run a department well.

It might be surprising, but people generally want to work well and achieve at their work.

And the reason why they cannot or just give up hoping that they can is because they run into problems which prevent them from doing so. Not technical problems, those can be solved, but human problems.

The problem with these human problems is that they can only be fixed by transferring your knowledge and view of the problem to those who are causing it. But there lies the crux: Usually the person causing the problem has no need, want or even capacity in understanding the problem.
Though it would be preferable if they would.
So we stick with a second option: using external pressure that can force someone into not creating the problem. Managers is what I believe they're being called.

Situations have an inertia of their own, meaning that once a situation is established, it requires work and energy to change. The same goes for management styles, which cán solve problems but generally bring a slew of problems of their own with them. That's why good managers practice management by exception.

So how do you change the human problem of a management style that does not match the reality and need of a company, when the company "can just work" this way?

It's IT the equivalent of everyone working on a win2k machine; "because gosh darnit, they still work, so there is no need to replace them is there?"

Friday, November 25, 2011


There is a strange comfort in a bowl of warm porridge that other breakfasts just lack.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Kids these days

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

- Socrates

If you think kids are up to no good and in no way compare to how you used to be when you were young, then you are truly becoming old.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

intrinsic value

Ask an economist what the value of something is, and you'll probably get a response along the lines of "That depends on supply and demand."

This boggled me, I always thought that there was some intrinsic value to physical things, but all of it is simply an evaluation of the different factors that go into making it.

At this point my repressed inner autist started screaming and hitting himself. The nice and neat science of economics went the same relativistic way moral systems went: "Yes, but that's YOUR opinion."

And at that point we just stopped thinking. Or did we? Because Sam Harris made a very convincing point in this video. Just because something is complex doesn't mean we can't make statements about it, just that it is hard.

Maybe that will push us out of cultural and moral relativism someday, but I digress. This post is about the intrinsic value of things, both services and goods.

Goods are those things you can hold, eat, use. Things that remain in this world after the transaction is done. They're there and for that, they have value. What value this is, I can't say, but it is intrinsic because the object is physical. It exists.

Services on the other hand, are less real. Sure, an IOU for a massage is nice. But you can't hold it, eat it or split it between 4 friends. It only exists in the minds of those who offered and accepted the service. You can put it down on paper to make it seem more trustworthy, but it's still just an idea in the head of two people.

Only when you make the idea bigger and put it in more heads (Most, actually) you get things like money, which only works because people believe that the value keeps on existing.

The point that I'm trying to make is that any economy consists of simply passing value around to move resources, products and services from person to person. And the movement of that money indicates the size and strength of an economy. Usually this would be a healthy mix of resources, products and services, but you can only grow so much corn and make so many cars.
Services, however, you can easily expand. You make services upon services, services for resources and products, services for the services for services.

And all of a sudden, more and more money is pushed around. Congratulations, your economy just grew!
But wait. The amount of food and products remained the same. So what happens if those services keep on growing?

It depends, it turns out. Some services actually add efficiency to the whole chain of gathering resources, making products and selling them to consumers. Investment loans, transportation And abstracts such as scientific advance, societal stability and culture all add to the intrinsic value of a society, but can only exist as long as there is enough intrinsic value to sustain it (Basically, food)

But some services don't better the system but actually leech value from it. Resource speculation, where one speculates upon the price of grain is a practice which yields money to those whom take part in it. But there is no extra grain because of it. The net result is that those on the end of the chain pay money to someone who did not actually add to the process.

Extending that metaphor, there are derivates, toxic loans and many more services which simply leech value from the bottom of the chain, the resources and products.

And at some point, when the size of that economy grows too far beyond that which can be sustained by the value of the resources and products, it all falls apart.Pop goes the bubble

And that leaves me with my final question: If we can calculate the real value (or cost) of a service, will we finally be able to create a society where only the services that we actually want (And that are in the value budget for our resources and products) remain? I wonder how libraries, culture and education measure up against quick loans, some insurances and overpriced designs.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Being a man

Someone once said that the hallmark of being a man is that once you decide you want something, you get it. No excuses, just action to get to the point where you want to be.

That's why you need goals. It's easy to meander through life without any goals and wishes, leaving you unchallenged and soft. Your life should be more like the heroes journey, continually finding new challenges to overcome. If not, how do you want to grow?

On a smaller level, this is the same reason why you want clear goals when starting anything you want to succeed at. I can't stress the use of SMART enough. Any goal you specify should conform to the SMART-principle (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-bound).

But just remember that once you have the goal, there is no turning back from the first step. Make it an active ritual. Put on your running shoes, go to your office or make a list of groceries. Clearly demarcate the boundary between going for a goal and not going for it. Ritualize it so you can form a new habit and 'step' into that new goal.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Monkeys & language

After watching the first episode of "Frys planet word" where results of experiments on monkeys and primates (our closest relatives) showed that though they are able to communicate (Almost every creature communicates) they are unable to grasp speech.

Monkeys can learn sign language and are able to communicate needs and emotional states (In fact, they're pretty much hardwired to only communicate emotional states) but cannot seem to grasp the concept of grammar.

This got me thinking. A lot of philosophy is centered on the point of language. How language moulds our thoughts (As the cookie experiment by Alfred Korzybski shows with humor)
and how it influences how we perceive the world around us.
“Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.” (- Benjamin Lee Whorf)

When looking at monkeys however, it becomes clear that they lack specific brain hardware to properly develop and learn language. The hardware of your mind would merit an entire new post, but briefly said: Humans have better hardware for handling language than monkeys do, just as dolphins have better hardware for 3d-navigation than humans do.

Considering this, isn't mr Whorf mistaking cause and effect? Could it be that it isn't language that shapes thought, but that thought is a result of language? Being able to learn a language and being intelligent* are two of the things that set humans apart from animals. It would make sense that both are connected.

*Well, some of us at any rate.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Where did that time go

A long time ago, when I was just a starry-eyed nerd starting on my computer science studies, I found a new hobby, where I met some interesting people, went camping and in general passed around bottles of varying quality and taste of alcohol around a campfire.

One day, for some reason, a canadian had joined us. When I told him about my studies and plans he told me that he didn't use computers.

I was completely surprised. They're useful! You can send e-mail, read information and do all kinds of nifty stuff!

What he told me always stuck around, in the back of my head;

"I don't use computers. A man could get old behind one of those."

And now, looking back, I have to admit it: I spent too much time behind the damn machine and lost whole years that could have been spent studying faster, finding a nicer job and generally living life more.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Weight loss

Well, it's been more than a month since I tried low-carbing / going ketogenic. And you know what? I've stopped doing it, but the weight loss seems to persist. Currently I'm still reaching my goal of 0.5 Kg / weekly, but the whole low-carbing was getting to me.

In essence, you have to starve your body of carbohydrates before you enter a ketogenic state and remain in there for a while to really start burning fat. "Needlessly complicated and hard", as a friend of mine told me.

A few things I do notice however: My protein intake has risen, partially due to the advice said friend gave me and partially due to me just eating more as a result of the ketogenic diet try-out.

The verdict on the ketogenic diet: it works pretty well, but really disrupts your eating patterns and dietary choices (Though that's the whole point). For now I'm sticking with moderate exercise and attempts to eat 'clean'.

And of course, not eating more than I need. The tip I got was trying to go for a 40-40-20 spread* (Carbohydrates, protein, fat). Let's see how that works out.


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Types of problems

I always thought that in essence, there are only two types of problems. Maybe I'm too much of a technician for dividing everything that could ever go wrong into two categories, but it served me well so far:

Technical problems are problems that rely on a change in the world. "My oats need to be stored", "This car is too slow", "Man, I wish my browser could do that". They might be complex, sure, but there often is a technical solution to a problem.

Human problems however, are a real pain in the backside. You can't solve human problems, you can only try to confront them or show people a way out. But there is no 'fix' for the problems a person has. And if there was, it is considered rude, as you would encroach on that holiest of holies: Someones personality, personal sphere and freedom of choice.

It's just such a shame that in my current job as technical teacher, I'm hired to give a technical solution for a human problem. The problem? Management doesn't really care about the people who work there. The solution: Let's throw some courses at them so they feel that we're helping them.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011


In every cynic there is an optimist who is afraid that they might be wrong.

Meal components

I've always had the idea that food charts were a bit off. Every meal I've seen so far only contains 3 real types of ingredients.

Fruits, vegetables and legumes. The "green" stuff. Plants that give you vitamins, minerals and fibre, while being low in calories, so you can essentially eat a lot of them without ill effect.

Meat, fish, eggs and other sources of protein and fat. (I'm still unsure about tofu) These satiate hunger very well (Fat and protein do that) and contain those proteins you need to keep your body going. It kind of makes sense, that the best food to sustain your body is another body, as it is made of the same stuff.

And lastly, there's what I call filler: Pasta, potatoes, bread, rice, etc..
These generally give you the bulk of your energy, having a high caloric content based on carbohydrates ('carbs'). Not that there is anything wrong with calories, you need energy to live, to work and to thrive. Bread is an excellent example, a staple of humans for ages, it is essentially a slab of carbohydrates that you can take to your work so you can refill the energy you spent labouring all day.

But if you want to lose weight or want to try things like primal (paleo) eating, low-carb, or tim ferris' diet, it makes sense to cut out the bulk of energy from the diet by eliminating the filler category.

(Plus, you'll have to up your intake of greens and protein-sources a bit, so you actually do get enough energy. Which are the most tasty part of any meal. Yum!)


The whole point of being a social animal is that you have behaviour that makes it possible to not only consider other humans as tools for darwinian steps (Eat, fuck, fight) but that we can actually build social networks with more advanced goals.

Caveman struggles to survive between other cavemen. He finds friends. Together, they achieve more. This doesn't mean that everyone needs to be lovey-dovey friends, but by simply working together, you can advance towards goals that are unattainable alone. Say a space shuttle.

The whole point is: Work together, so you can build a better world and you can better kick the ass of that other tribe.

And that's where I completely fail to understand the large and noisy mass of people whom regard the european union with abject fear and loathing. Here we are, slowly making the biggest, baddest tribe to even better kick the ass of the other tribes. And suddenly people squabble. As if a border on a map determine the way your associations are made.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


"What is thy name?" And he answered saying, "My name is Legion: for we are many." - The gospel of Mark.

You are not a singular individual. There is no true "personality" that you hold. Granted, some of the personalities are worn more often and can be considered to be like an old coat. Warm, safe and yours.

But still you change. Not just through growth, becoming a different person over time, but in seconds, taking on the guise of your social role. With your parents, you are a son. With your friends, you become a socialite. Your personality changes to suit the expectations of the situation.

Consider your mind to be a large coatrack. It holds many coats that can be worn. Some for summer, some for winter and even some for rain. All these personalities exist because of a certain need for them to exist.

In a way this means you could be anyone. If the need is there and is recognized as such by your mind. Some roles, however, will not appear, as there are still personal preferences. Most personalities share underlying traits and preferences. What we mistakenly call personality is simply the total of these underlying traits. What someone really is, discarding impulses to be in a specific way.
In other words : I prefer yellow summer coats.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Forever alone

There is an internet meme of the forever alone guy. A person who will never know love, and will live (and die) alone. Sure, it's okay to feel crappy about being single for a while, but it doesn't make sense. It is actually hard to remain alone for the rest of your life.

This comic really describes it very nicely: For all of those who are afraid to remain alone or fear that they will never find a nice mate: Realize that you're the result of generation after generation of genetic winners. You are literally the best evolution had to offer. And you actually worry?

We are the result of millions of years of natural selection on one and one trait alone: Being able to reproduce. Why do you think sex is so nice and why we tend to fall in love with each other so easily?

So don't be afraid. Being a human, you're a sexual creature whose instincts are to bond with a partner. It'll happen. Just make sure you actually come in contact with the opposite sex, so the bond can develop. They have the same instincts, after all.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Diet update(1)

So far, the diet schedule I'm on seems to work. (That would be Intermittent fasting a few days per week and slow-carb/low-carb).

A few things have become noticable:
- I notice that I'm not eating quite as much as previously. It's hard to eat as much as previously when you mostly consume fat and protein which satisfy hunger more. Also, my portion size seems to have shrunk.
- My muscles are quicker to tire. I don't feel low on energy, but I notice it while cycling and doing pushups. The stamina is lower and high-intensity activity quickly saps me of my strength.
- Fasting has become something akin to a second nature. It's so easy just not to eat up until dinner that I've also become comfortable in just shifting the fasting windows around. No hassle. One day I don't eat till dinner, the other I feel hungry and i break my fast sooner.

Also, over the last 10 days, trend analysis of my weight indicates that I've lost 2.5 KG. That's an insanely high number and I expect this to stabilize soon. The goal is still to lose about 1/2 kg every week for the next 40 weeks. Next to that, I need to experiment to determine what methods I can incorporate in my lifestyle.

The good lie

For those whom don't know Viktor Frankl, the man is a poster child for the best that mankind can offer. The man found ways to remain optimistic about humanity even through WWII concentration camps.

One of his messages is very powerful: If you do not expect others to be better or expect yourself to be better than you generally are, you will never give yourself the chance to become so.
In short: reach for the sky, you might hit the moon.

This is something you also see in relationships. Both partners attempt to be the best possible person for the other and perpetuate a lie of being better people than they are. Together, you shape eachother more and more into the person you want to be.

Do note, however, that this must come from a genuine wish to be a better person, not just from simple causal reasoning: If I do this and this, I'll get that back. The focus should simply be being there. To quote the deceased but not forgotten John Scatman : "I want to be a human being, not a human doing."

So how do you want to see humanity?

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Because the Ukelele rocks

Sure, you might not like the Ukelele, but these guys have a great show, they keep the atmosphere intimate and don't need huge levels of volume to get their music across.

Without further ado: The ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain

Intermittent fasting

Next to the low-carb diet that I've been trying, I've also dipped back into something I did earlier: Intermittent fasting.

It's one of those dietary things where the name really covers it all. You simply do not consume calories for 2-3 24 hour periods per week, or you choose a specific interval where you do and do not eat. In my case, I try to fast about 20 hours daily, and then eat a good healthy meal (and maybe some nice snacks afterwards) in the remaining 4 hours.

This comes very naturaly to me, as I love sleeping longer (thus not eating breakfast), find lunch something you either do well or shouldn't do and on some days tended to forget to eat. My eating rhythm isn't very stable so changes are easier to make.

There are people who state that they need to eat something every few hours, or else they'll feel weak and start to faint. I always wondered how such a trait could exist in healthy humans, but on the other hand, the fact that I don't need to eat might mean that I'm the unhealthy and/or strange one.

Still, this dietary change (it's not really a diet, as I can still eat anything I want, I just have to time when I eat it)

So why do all this? Well, there's some reasons why I like this form of eating:

1. There is a strong commitment not to eat during fasting hours. That means that you become virtually immune to the tempation of food during these hours.

2. After fasting, I build a strong appetite. My sense of smell becomes better and I become motivated to cook a nice and good meal, which I feel I appreciate more. I actually live up to the point of the day where I get to cook and eat.

3. I've learned what hunger is. It's not that bad a feeling (In fact, after 2-3 days of fasting it goes away, but that's not part of an Intermittent fasting regimen) It feels nice to be able to control and deal with my hunger instead of being a slave to it.

4. I feel more awake and acute when I'm fasting. You probably heard of the term "Staying hungry". It keeps you on your toes.

5. There might be positive health effects coupled to this style of eating, claiming that long enough fasting intervals have some of the or the same effect as caloric restriction

6. You can't eat as much in a 4-hour interval as you generally do in a whole days. Especially when you try to eat "clean foods". Essentially, this means you'll lose weight.

7. I don't -need- to do this every day. When I actually get hungry earlier, I eat. I've learned to distinguish real hunger (my body needing something) from other types of hunger. So there's no huge loss in breaking a fast earlier every now and then. Take all things in moderation.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Tim minchin & the paranormal

Living in an age of relativism, everyone is allowed to have an opinion that reflects their own perception of reality.

Even if they don't say so, humans are just things that give meaning to other things. The whole concept of living and having a relationship (from making love to a woman to taking a bite from an apple or sticking a cat in a box) to the world around us means that we project our reality and explanation of it upon it.

As I said, everyone is allowed an opinion. But that doesn't mean that I can't find some opinions stupid. Especially if you try to push its validity upon me.

So without further ado, I give you a nice beat poem by Tim Minchin, who brings this with such wit and eloquence that I can only hope to achieve some of his verbal mastery

Thursday, July 28, 2011

So true

"To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.”

- Leonard Bernstein

The Six Mistakes of Man

Cicero (106 B.C. — 43 B.C.) was a man that had great influence in his time in the roman empire. That is, until he was killed for being a political pain-in-the-ass. (Though Marc Antony got pretty much served by Cicero's son for having him killed )

However, the man did something truly epic: He read, studied and found 6 common flaws which mankind exhibited over all of known history. A testament to their correctness is that they still apply today.

The Six Mistakes of Man

1. The illusion that personal gain is made up of crushing others.
2. The tendency to worry about things that cannot be changed or corrected.
3. Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it.
4. Refusing to set aside trivial preferences.
5. Neglecting development and refinement of the mind, and not acquiring the habit of reading and study.
6. Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do.

Amazing, isn't it? This is the stuff I would love to have learned earlier in life.

Dieting - the nerd way

Since the start of my week, I've been playing around with two diets, the first one is the slow-carb diet I wrote about earlier, the second is intermittent fasting, where you force your body into burning fat and give it some time to recuperate between all the eating for a while.

As the good people over at the hacker diet (Read it if you want a good grasp of the basics of keeping up a good diet!) noted : You don't know anything until you measure the results. This is probably where lots of diet fail, with people abhorring to measure their own physical inadequacy. Or just saying that they "feel good" and clothes "seem to fit better".

Personally, I've finally bought scales and with a simple spreadsheet in excel, I can't wait to measure my weight next time. Every weigh-in means more points of data, meaning that my diet and myself just became the subject of an experiment. I can't wait to take all my data and apply trend analysis on it.

I guess this means I'm a nerd. But i'll be a nerd with hard numbers to back the functioning of a method. How awesome is that? Maybe i'll even make a pie chart, that would be fun. For Science!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

the 4 hour diet

Tim Ferriss wrote about this specific type of diet, making it an instant hit.

The idea is rather simple: Your body utilizes carbohydrates (sugars) as primary energy source. It needs those carbohydrates to keep your brain running. If there aren't any around in the food, it'll start consuming stored glycogen from the liver and the muscles. Those last about a day, and what then?

Well, turns out that building up fat reserves actually had use! When the stores of easy sugars are depleted, your body will (with some intermediary steps, IANAD*) start burning fat as its primary source of energy.

And that's the secret of the diet that's sweeping the nation right now. By not consuming any carbohydrates, you force your body to start ketogenesis and start burning fats.

Personally, I think there's a second reason why this works: Most meals consist of three components: Some vegetables and healthy stuff for minerals and vitamins and a source of protein (meat, fish, nuts, tofu, mushrooms, etc) for proteins.
Lastly, there's something I call filler: Rice, pasta, potatoes and bread and such, which is basically just lots of energy (calories) to make sure you actually eat enough of those for the day.

By removing that concentrated source of energy in the form of carbohydrates, you've just made it harder to consume energy, meaning that you should lose some weight.

And of course: you get to eat what you want as long as its not containing carbohydrates. Goodbye crisps, fries, bread. Hello steak!

For those interested, some information can be found here

* I Am Not A Dietician

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


It's not funny anymore how many problems exist because we think and act on absolutes. At a risk of invoking Godwin's law, you'd think that this lesson was learned after the second world war.

But sadly, absolutism is too ingrained in our language. From simple phrases such as "Father knows best", "White men can't jump" and "An ex is an ex for a reason" we somehow deduce that these absolutes must be true. 1 or 0, true or false.

Reality is ALWAYS more complex than you imagine it to be, though we struggle to constrain this complexity with language that imposes absolutes on it.

The worst thing is that actually knowing this does not make you any more immune to it. The only thing one can do is remain stoic in the face of the universe and cultivate an attitude that can only be described as the "Let's see what this is." of general semantics.

But gods, the evil this absolutism imparts. Us-them thinking, terrorism scares, muslim scares, killings in oslo, forcing of stereotypical behaviour, the inability to see beyond preconceptions and worst of all: ignoring and basically saying "NO" to a scary but beautiful complex world that is more surprising than you could ever even imagine in lieu of living a simple, safe and predictable life.

Healthy relationships and troubles

Funny, I've always thought that a good relationship required two healthy, sane and happy people to have a chance at staying together.

But we do not live in a perfect world, and no-one is perfect. Having spoken to people whom can only be considered damaged, and noticing how even the healthy couples have their own problems, I think I got this wrong.

A good relationship is when you both weather bad times and troubles. If it were just about the happy and nice times, then you'd be in disneyland.

This doesn't mean you should just stay in a dysfunctional relationship. It just means that if you can share your troubles with your partner, you can actually grow through them together, which is much more satisfying (And a stronger bond) than simply having had fun.

Sex rank

One of the important points that Athol Kay makes on his blog and in his book is his "sex rank". Simply put it is a number from 1 to 10 that indicates how attractive you are to the opposite sex.

For some reason, people tend to pair up with partners whom are equally attractive. Now this does not mean that some people aren't specifically more attractive to others; a 5 might be a 7 to a specific person. But in general we do see a trend (or at least an expectation) of people of equal attractiveness pairing up.

When a difference in this attractiveness starts to arise however, things become interesting.
The woman of the couple of sixes starts to really work on herself and becomes a seven. Suddenly, she is more attractive than her partner. This is where problems start, because attraction generally only happens with equal or better partners (Would you settle for less?)

Now step back and let's take a look at the death of a relationship: Things were great, even for years. But for some reason, one partner is starting to grow annoyed with the other partner. Little tensions arise, sex becomes nonexistent, both people start to become insecure and show their worst sides. Eventually, they break up and rationalise this by stating all the things they found annoying.

But what Athol shows is that this is not the reason for the relationship going awry. It might be the reasons you both see as the source of the breakup, but what simply happened is that one partner was losing attraction, leading to all the frustration and subsequent breakup.

You can't choose attraction.
You can however help it, by making sure that YOU work on your sex rank and increase it. That sounds abstract, but basically it comes down to : Be a better you. If you're a jobless slob, you should know the way already. If you're unhealthy and fat, start working out and lose weight.
Consider that you're not only doing this for yourself, but also as part of your effort to sustain a healthy and rewarding relationship.

So get your butt out and start doing something. (Like buying his book )

Monday, July 25, 2011

Freediving record

I stumbled upon this gem of a video.
Knowing how hard it is to hold your breath and cool whilst being submerged for four minutesmakes me respect this man deeply.
There is a lot of physical training and talent involved, but in the end, this is pure willpower in action. Training your mind and body to ignore the sense of drowning and slowly push the boundary further every time you do this.

And I'm really in love with the grace (and music) at the end of the ascent, as the light filters down more and more and more other divers join him for the last leg of a truly epic dive. These things make me happy to be alive.

Forming habits is still an amazing source of interesting speeches, talks and performances (Though since it became more known, the overall quality has dropped somewhat.)

One of the interesting ones lately is one on forming habits: A good role of thumb when forming new habits is that you need to do something for about a month before the habit becomes part of your own programming. So if there is a habit you'd like to change or add, simply do so for 30 days and you'll have changed.

Or you could just drop the habit, since after 30 days, you should have a pretty good view on keeping or losing a habit.

Athol Kay

Those who know me, should know that i've been reading up on the so-called manosphere blogs. That is, blogs that deal with game and pickup and are tailored at informing and teaching men how to attract and deal with women in the modern dating market, though I dislike the use of the word "market" in there.

When reading the articles in the manosphere, I keep getting the distinct feeling that it is filled with bitter, jaded and cynical people who seem to mourn the loss of an ideal world in which they previously dwelt. (And remember, you can't get cynical without actually caring about things. Cynicism is generally the result of a wish for a better world, not just the loss of hope.)

One exception to this, however, is Athol Kay. Instead of using game and pick-up techniques to.. well, pick up women and sleep with them, he is actively using principes from game to spice up the relationship with his wife, essentially bringing back the excitement and flirting that marks the start of any relationship.
And most importantly: he's doing it together with his partner instead of merely applying it on her. It seems to have become a communal thing in which both partners actively try to keep their relationship active and fun, which translates into jumping eachother like bunnies in spring and having a wonderful time doing so - together.

This is a world of difference when compared to the bar pick-up scene, where I always get the feeling that game is just going through the motions and in many ways just holding up another mask to get what you want. That this could lead to internal change is another discussion altogether though.

If this, coupled with the more palatable character of his theories interest you, I'd like to suggest that you read his blog, which can be found at or simply buy his book. His theories have been able to heal many relationships that would otherwise have been ended.

I still check his blog daily, and though I do not feel that I became a pick-up artist in the sense of the word, I do feel that these things can make me a better partner.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


I recently found a gem made by Mel Brooks (Bless him and his delightful comedy), called the hitler rap ( Link here). Now a lot of people could and did take offense at this.
I can't tell people what to be offended of and what not, but it indicates that the idea of WW2 still has power over them. What he actually does is using comedy to disarm the idea, giving an opportunity to free oneself from the burden of being bound to this idea.

"If something, be it a thought, social construct, someone else or a situation has power over you and your thinking, you should strive to free yourself from this. Power given over you should be given from a situation of freely choosing to do so."