Wednesday, December 21, 2011

pickup realities

While reading a nice pdf about why the pickup industry (link here) as a whole is mostly about being a business and making money and less about simply helping people, I was struck by a sentence from the author that stated that game is all nice and fun, but in the end, women simply choose who they like and that game itself has little say in that. It simply increases your chances by teaching you to stop doing stupid things whilst qualifying for that selection process.

There is no way to describe the relief that simple sentence gave me. Instead of being responsible for the outcome of flirting and seducing, I suddenly became one of the two parties involved, as opposed to being the one that has to lead, control and keep on reframing the interaction to move it in the direction you want to move it.

All the girls that I have been with, I’ve ended up with because we got into flow. Things were fun, we got together and we clicked. And instead of living in a world where that click has to be carefully pushed and steered, turning every interaction with a woman into one where I have to actively try to see and control the situation, myself and her, I can just enjoy myself and see what that brings.

So what if I don’t get laid as often as PUA’s. I’m in this for the long run, finding a partner is my goal, which requires me to find someone I can be honest with. That does not mean that I can’t use parts of game, but I will use it to make my partner happy, not to push her to sleep with me. The brand of game that Athol Kay is preaching, with a good measure of ’inner’ (Self-improvement and just being proud and happy with yourself) and ’natural’ (I’ve attracted several women in my life. No games, no thinking, just letting it happen and enjoying eachother’s company) game involved. But that is mostly for my own development and peace of mind, not my future partners.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The neg

A Neg is a technique that pick-up artists use to get attention (attraction) from pretty women. Those women generally get all kinds of positive attention from men hoping to 'buy' their attraction with compliments.

To be different, they sort-of-insult the woman, to appear independent and strong and to break down her initial assumption that he is just another guy who will be like the rest.

In short, you playfully point out that she is not perfect and that you see that. A few examples would be along the lines of:

+ "You have a very pretty face, but you should use less makeup. Makeup should be used to enhance a woman’s beauty, not hide it." or You're a really pretty girl, but what else have you got besides that?

There is all kind of theorycrafting on why this works (And why it apparently only works on really pretty women or women who think they are but aren't that pretty.)

But I keep wondering if the whole point of this isn't just to shake someone out of social roles. That for some reason, showing that you can see past the mask and that you accept it, you allow the other to remove it and become more genuine with you.

It would be funny if a bunch of guys wearing silly hats and boas, who insult women to seduce them and to sleep with them, are somehow making the world a more honest place.