Sunday, September 16, 2012

todo

I met an ex of mine yesterday. In a way, it was nice and we had a fun time. She's changed. Grown even. I had the feeling I was doing the same, but as the evening progressed, I felt that she was keeping a distance.

Logical, considering she just had a new partner and since there was a chance we'd end up sleeping together if he wasn't in the picture. In a way, that's a compliment, somehow I'm 'dangerous' or at least attractive at some point.

But there's something wrong in the way I'm dealing with emotional stuff. As the evening progressed, I felt rejected. Something that made me go back into my needy mindset, meaning I couldn't enjoy myself anymore and got sad.

It's not that I'm desperately in love with her anymore, it's been over a year. There's something else wrong that I still have to fix. I guess I'm afraid of rejection, like every other guy, but somehow it makes me act irrational and emotional. I need to get rid of this if I'm ever to get into a healthy relationship.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

*click*

Stuff is starting to click. Life is on track and I'm adding things because I want them. It's funny how actively starting with a new way of living gives you a chance to completely rebuild the way you live and by extension, the person you are.

I like this. A new year of affluence and growth, coming up