Monday, July 25, 2011

Athol Kay

Those who know me, should know that i've been reading up on the so-called manosphere blogs. That is, blogs that deal with game and pickup and are tailored at informing and teaching men how to attract and deal with women in the modern dating market, though I dislike the use of the word "market" in there.

When reading the articles in the manosphere, I keep getting the distinct feeling that it is filled with bitter, jaded and cynical people who seem to mourn the loss of an ideal world in which they previously dwelt. (And remember, you can't get cynical without actually caring about things. Cynicism is generally the result of a wish for a better world, not just the loss of hope.)

One exception to this, however, is Athol Kay. Instead of using game and pick-up techniques to.. well, pick up women and sleep with them, he is actively using principes from game to spice up the relationship with his wife, essentially bringing back the excitement and flirting that marks the start of any relationship.
And most importantly: he's doing it together with his partner instead of merely applying it on her. It seems to have become a communal thing in which both partners actively try to keep their relationship active and fun, which translates into jumping eachother like bunnies in spring and having a wonderful time doing so - together.

This is a world of difference when compared to the bar pick-up scene, where I always get the feeling that game is just going through the motions and in many ways just holding up another mask to get what you want. That this could lead to internal change is another discussion altogether though.

If this, coupled with the more palatable character of his theories interest you, I'd like to suggest that you read his blog, which can be found at or simply buy his book. His theories have been able to heal many relationships that would otherwise have been ended.

I still check his blog daily, and though I do not feel that I became a pick-up artist in the sense of the word, I do feel that these things can make me a better partner.

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